These stories are definitely more interesting than pondering the budget deficit.

• Monkeys Attack Delhi Politician. This sounds too much like Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. [via BoingBoing]
• Wisconsin Man Finds 3.92-ct White Diamond. Digging in the dirt for diamonds in Murfreesboro was my father’s idea of a family vacation. It wasn’t anything like Blood Diamond, but it wasn’t much fun either.
• Why Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness. I’d like see for myself.
• Bacon Candy Bar. As Jim Gaffigan would say: Bibbity, bobbity, bacon!
• Chuck Norris: If I Am Elected President. I guess we should be glad he has endorsed Mike Huckabee. [via Metafilter]

I have run across an interesting mix of pirate-related information this week. Unfortunately, there is no link to soft partition or the budget deficit.

• Argh. Pirates or rap videos?
• After a Dip in Attack, Pirates Mount a Comeback.
• Pirate Attacks Up 14% Worldwide.
• He’s Walking the Plank in His Undies Again. Despite the headline, it really is not about pirates.

• Kanye West Bests 50 Cent in Album Sales. We have a winner.
• Americans Getting Lax About Clean Hands? There has to be a middle ground between not washing and constant use of Purell.
• This One Doesn’t Go To Eleven. A silent debate. [via NDTCEDA-L]
• Debate On Ending SAT Gains Ground. Good news for some.

• RIP, Robert Jordan - Not the headline I wanted to see this morning.
• Academic Cheating is at an All-time High - Stop it!
• Starting Them Young: The GTA San Andreas Cake - That’s just wrong.
• Woman Has Yard Full of Snapping Turtles - Turtle Power!
• Cupcake Ban - No!
• Pirates vs. Ninjas Batteries - Too silly.

The September 2007 issue of Crossfire Briefs (Fairness Doctrine) will be published on Monday as scheduled. I have had all of the Fairness Doctrine reading I can tolerate for one day. Expect a number of Fairness Doctrine related posts next week. In the meantime, enjoy these diversions:

• Students Sent to Office for Wearing Jacket and Tie - These students sound suspiciously like debaters.
• A Vicious Slug Ate My Head - Vampire Slugs!
• YouTube - Gregorius: NMKY - A Finnish cover of YMCA.
• Cardboard Tube Dueling - Nerds!
• Pirates, Ninjas Settle Debate with Dodgeball - It has everything!
• Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero - Surely more fun than Guitar Hero.

• Why is Catching a Baseball Taxable Income? - An interesting question.
• MathTrek: Cracking the Cube - Just 26 moves.
• Medium Rare Laptop - Don’t hide your laptop in the oven.
• Homeland Security’s Latest Non-lethal Weapon: The Pukelight - Look away!
• Michael Vick Chew Toy - Entrepreneurship or opportunism?

• An Impediment Got ‘Rocket Science’ Going - The inspiration behind the film.
• Want to Be Good at Science? Math Is Key - Duh.
• Ten Reasons To Throw Away Your Cellphone
• Apple Wants Your iPod to Stop Charging For Thieves - Should have been done years ago.
• For the DeLorean, It’s Back to the Present - The DeLorean was cool even before Back to the Future.

• Can Squirrels Spy For People? Iran Thinks So - No mention of Morocco Mole.
• The Internet Crash of 2007 - Way to go, dude.
• U.S. College Students Seek the Magic of Quidditch - No comment.
• Police Investigate Duct Tape Road Block - Does Red Green have an alibi?
• Why It’s Hard to Admit to Being Wrong - Because I’m always right.
• Dirty College Application Causes Bomb Scare - Talk about making your college application stand out.

• Economists Puzzled by Irrational eBay Buyers - Interesting findings.
• ‘Silly Walks’ Dissed by Mathematicians - I’m glad scientists are tackling the big questions.
• Digital Shoplifting - It goes beyond Potterheads.
• Why We Get Disgusted - Some things are just icky.